Facilities Tools for Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

What was once just the stuff of fiction is…well, maybe still just the stuff of fiction. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be prepared for a zombie apocalypse. We polled our facilities crew to get their list of the must-have tools during the Zombie Apocalypse. Take a look and if you ever find yourself in need of some undead protection just click the links for a trust worthy quick purchase.

  1. Crowbar: You never know when you’ll have to open a door to find food or rescue someone. Pro tip: it doubles as a weapon.
  2. Rope: A good facilities tech might have to lasso a zombie (like Indiana Jones) or set traps.
  3. Duct tape: Really? There are way too many uses for duct tape to list them all. Duct tape can save your life.
  4. Flashlight: That flashlight app on your mobile phone won’t do much good in a zombie apocalypse. A real facilities tech needs a real flashlight.
  5. A box cutter: You use it every day to get things done. Now you’re using it to ward off zombies and save your life.
  6. Lysol wipes: Scrub till your human scent is gone. It will make it harder to find you.
  7. Dry erase markers: You can use them to communicate in secret symbols on your writable walls. Pick a good code that the zombies won’t know.
  8. Carts: There’s got to be a way to get supplies to the injured.
  9. Safety goggles: Everybody knows that the Zombie Apocalypse will have dirt and debris flying everywhere. You might also need goggles to keep the guts out of your eyes.
  10. ·Jr. Facilities Techs: Live bait.
  11. Red Bull 4 Pack: When you get those wings, you can fly away to a safe place.
  12. Leatherman: Let’s be honest — the Leatherman was the best thing for a Facilities tech before the Zombie Apocalypse…and now that there are people eating brains all over the world, this thing just got even better. Just the look of the thing alone will scare away the zombies.
  13. Fathead cutouts: Lifesized Fatheads of other team members will confuse Zombies. Let them attack the Fathead while you run away.
  14. Hi-Lo Forklift: You’ve got to scoop the Zombies away somehow.
  15. Baked beans. A tech’s gotta eat.

 

So there you have it. A lot of these tools you may already have lying around; now, you’ve just got to think of clever new ways to use these things in the event of a zombie takeover. Let’s pray it never comes to that.

 

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